Thursday, May 3, 2012

A Piece of Cake

Veronica only agreed to go to the wedding because she’d been hungry for cake lately, but had been too lazy to bake one.  Keep in mind it’s a formal wedding, Dolores had advised her.  What did Dolores think.  That she’d wear her pajamas, for heaven’s sake? 

She had plenty of time to get ready.  The wedding wasn’t until one.  She took a bubble bath, read the newest issue of Modern Screen, and even made herself a toasted cheese sandwich.  It was never, she knew from her experience on another occasion, advisable to eat cake on an empty stomach.   It made one giddy. By 12:30,  looking like a freshly minted quarter in her sea green tulle dress, she waited for Dolores to swing by.

With any luck, the ceremony would be short, the speeches and toasts even shorter, and the bride and groom would cut right to the chase and cut the cake.  Veronica chuckled at her own wit.  With any luck, she would be home in less than three hours, get out of this girdle she’d fought her way into, and have the rest of the afternoon to digest.

Veronica had no plans for romance that afternoon.  Her mind was strictly on cake.  But when Veronica set eyes on Gilbert, she knew she had to meet him. Not spying the groom's size 13 wing tips jutting out as she walked to the refreshment table to get a better look at Gilbert, Veronica tripped and landed on the floor. Suddenly, she was the center of attention. Embarrassingly enough, her dress was up over her head! She was thankful she was wearing her nicest under things, because she was pretty sure Gilbert had noticed her now.

Unfortunately for Veronica, Gilbert was a very literal person.  And while he cut a striking figure in his charcoal cutaway tuxedo and tails, he was as daft as a pile of bricks.  At the age of 30, he had yet to learn to think for himself, and still looked to his mother for guidance.  And so he turned his back on the spectacle that was Veronica, at the command of the stern matronly voice that bellowed inside his head:

Stay away from fallen women!

Thankfully, Veronica did not remain the center of attention for long.  The best man tapped his champagne glass as if to make an announcement, and proceeded to launch a slurred and extended toast to the happy couple that touched on the virtues of  wedded bliss and the bottles of the 1928 Krug that had been chosen to celebrate the day.   Veronica got to her feet, smoothed her dress back into place, and walked over to the table that held the still uncut wedding cake-a five tiered monumental concoction of frosting, flowers and other frills.  Taking the sterling silver cake server in hand, she sliced herself off a generous piece, and placed it on a flowered china plate

I only came along today for the cake, she reminded herself flatly.  She could not wait to get home and take off her girdle.

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